May...

May.

Spring sunshine.

Blossoming trees.

Little girl laughter.

Yet those memories.

They get easier with time... This May has not filled me with the same sense of foreboding that those golden days of last spring did. This May has not hit me with the agony of two years ago.

Time is, as they say, a great healer.

Our little girl is oblivious to all she went through two years ago. Her big sister has long forgotten the separation. We? We will not forget... I don't think we ever could.

But we will hold on for hope.

Because although time has not healed our little girl's arteries, it has allowed us to learn to live with the consequences of those fateful May-days, and instead of getting sucked into the "what-ifs" and "if-onlys", to be eternally grateful to have our Heidi-girl with us now. Living her little life to the full, a bundle of energy, a ball of giggles. Our little comedian.

She could not be more effervescent if she tried to be.

And so hope becomes our friend. Our anchor. We learnt some big life-lessons two years ago. About how precious life is, about what a gift every day is, about how faithful our God is, even in the pit. 

And we're still learning. Every day. To trust. To hope. To hand it all over to Him.

So I'm going to be thankful for these May days this year. And instead of dwelling on all we nearly lost, the anxiety which still lingers, I will thank God for his care for us, his provision, his mercy in sparing our baby girl. And I will take joy in watching these little ladies loving life and seizing each moment with all their energy.

Two years ago, I wondered if I would ever see that day.

I'm so grateful that I'm witnessing it now.