Today the situation with baby Heidi remains largely unchanged. Except for one thing. We now have hope. When the Doctor's came round yesterday morning, they finally said the words we had longed to hear...
"We are starting to see some improvement. The spikes are spreading out, and they aren't as dramatic. Her CRP has also started to come down... its still very high, but its going in the right direction."
Hope changes everything. Her temperature spiked yesterday as frequently and to the same level as the day before. In yesterday's mindset, I would have been distraught. But I know now that we are on the way up, even if it doesn't really seem like it.
Hope and perspective. Two of the things that have helped me this week. The perspective came when I went down to the parent's room and got chatting to another Mum. She was in with her little girl. Her little girl had cancer. She was 5 years old and has been in remission, but it seems like the cancer is back. I swallowed back the tears, knowing how emotionally tumultuous this past week has been for us. This lady had been on the rollercoaster for two long years.
There have been no real developments over the past couple of days. Heidi remains much the same... quite cheery until the temperature hits. Even then she is so good. She doesn't complain. We are trying to stay off the meds now... allowing her temperature to rise so that we can see exactly what her body is doing. It seems to be trying to regulate itself, but it hasn't yet been totally successful.
Heidi and I will be here until her temperature stabilizes. These past 7 days have felt long and emotionally draining. I cannot wait to go home. And yet I know, and trust, that there has been a reason for all of this. God is good. I know that.
Thank you again for all of your support. We have felt so humbled by it.