Letters to my girls: Dear Heidi...

Dear Heidi,

My precious baby girl - a bundle of smiles and joy and utter cuteness. You are so special to us and we love you so very much. We are so sad that this has happened to you, but we are so very glad that you are safe and here with us. We thank God for keeping your little life every day.

As I look forward to the future, there are still lots of unknowns... but this has given me a much clearer picture of what I want for you, my darling girl. I want you to be able to be a little girl - to run and jump, to climb trees and have tea-parties with your dollys, to play make-believe with your big sister... I want so much for you not to be hindered by this and I will work hard not to be over-protective.

Forgive me for the times I will be. I am sure there will be times when my fierce, protective love for you will feel like I'm holding you back. Please talk to me about it... I want you to be able to be as independent and as much of a free-spirit as your big sister, but I will find that hard, at times. Hard because we so nearly lost you, hard because the fear of being "out of control" will make Mama panic, hard because we have had to take this road together and its not an easy one.

I am so glad you have Ava for your sister. She is strong and independent, and she will help Mama to be able to let go a bit, loosen up... she will fight your corner I'm sure!

You are so very strong - our little fighter, and I know, in that sense, you won't need anyone to fight your corner for you. You have already shown that it is possible to be incredibly strong, and yet sweet-natured at the same time. I am so proud of you, Heidi. Proud of you for remaining so cheerful and charming despite all that you have already had to go through in your little life.

I am so grateful to God that neither you, nor Ava, will remember this terrible few weeks. It has been so hard, but has just made Mama and Papa love you both all the more intensely.

We have learnt to rely on God in a deeper way, these past few weeks, and actually, our prayers have changed somewhat too. Your little heart needs so much prayer... but actually, yours and Ava's spiritual hearts are what we have been praying for too. We pray that your little hearts, whether healthy, healed or  not, will belong to Jesus. He is the best person to take care of them. We have found his love runs deeper than the deepest, darkest ocean, is wider that the most vast canyon, is water in the deserts of life. He has upheld us, sustained us, strengthened us, and soaked up our tears. We pray that both of you girls will also know the Saviour who loves you, oh so very much.

He is the rock upon which we build our little family - we pray you will build your little lives on him too.

Wir haben dich sooooooooooooooo lieb (als die Ava sagen wuerde!)

Mama und Papa
xxx

PS - happy 3 month birthday!