Tuesday 21 October 2014

The Countdown...

Tonight I'm sitting in bed, iPad in hand, mulling over the knowledge that in one week we will have an answer. After nine months of waiting, I can't quite fathom the concept that once again we will be able to answer the question, "So how is Heidi's heart?"

My own heart speeds up at the prospect... I know I will leave crying - tears of joy, of relief of wonder... Or tears of heartache, of a mother who in all honesty is tired and worn out of worrying.

I try not to. I try to live by faith that The Lord has this. Some days I manage it. Somedays the gut-wrenching disbelief tries to take hold and I battle to give it back to the Saviour.

Somehow, for some reason, I think I'm entitled to a pain-free easy life... I'm realising that's westernised thinking. In Syria, right now, Mother's are fearful for their children every second of every day. Millions of them.

This world is a broken place. And even if (please!) we get the news we are longing for next Tuesday, I know I will now always view the world through slightly different eyes. Our Heidi has changed me in a wonderful and broken way and right now, I'm praying, that if Lord-willing we get good news, I won't forget the lessons this journey has taught me.

And if we don't get that news? I can trust I still have some beautiful and broken lessons to learn...

                        
  


11 comments:

  1. We are thinking of you all lots and especially for next Tuesday xx

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  2. Love, hugs and most of all prayers xxx 🙏

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  3. I do feel for you dear Claire, but our little Heidi is TOTALLY in God's care. x x x

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  4. In some ways the waiting must be the hardest part - once you have an answer you can move forward in whichever which way you need to go, but the waiting is just stress accumulating! I hope you have a peaceful week, and next week I hope and pray the answers are exactly what you'd like them to be :)

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  5. Such a beautiful, honest, heartfelt post, C. I feel for you, honey, but also admire your strength and attitude that is one of growth in the midst of hardship. That's how character is hewn, isn't it Don't we have a wonderful God whose love is stronger than anything? Hang in there, and lets pray its a good result. x

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  6. Claire, your faith and journey through this over the last few years has been inspirational and such an encouragement to so many, be assured of of our prayers for you all and Heidi. With much love, Liz xx

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  7. Will pray for you all especially little Heidi.

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  8. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you and your family Claire. I know that God is ever-faithful but sometimes it's hard to believe in the best outcome isn't it? Somewhere in the world, people are suffering. Why? I think sometimes God leaves things in our lives to make sure that we are 100% dependent on Him at all times. Perhaps. Thinking and praying for you x x

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  9. Praying for you next Tuesday, Claire. Xx

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