The hours are long in hospital. Some days are filled with the merry chatter of friendly midwives, other days I can go hours without seeing anyone. It can feel lonely, but I'm also thankful to the Lord for time and space to read, and talk, and listen to him.
Life at home as a Mama to a little brood doesn't afford a lot of time for watching and waiting.
Be still and wait.
The soundtrack to this placenta praevia season. The words that have been spoken over me again and again the last few weeks. By friends and family, by strangers, by books I'm reading and my own Bible study.
"Stand still and see how I will deliver you."
"Be still and wait."
"The Lord will show you"
Exodus 14:13-14, verses I have never noticed before and yet which have been spoken to me by a number of different people, highlighted in the book I'm reading and prayed for me. Words of hope. Words of encouragement. Words to trust.
But hard words to live.
I am a doer, a reactor and responder, a planner and a controller. I live my life in the active form.
And yet watching, waiting, being still and seeing are all passive.
It doesn't come naturally, or easily, for me to wait and see...
Perhaps that's why the Lord has seen fit to consign me to this little hospital room for the next few weeks. A severe mercy, a God-ordained opportunity, a 'detour of blessing'.
And so I watch. And so I wait. Praying for this little one. Whiling away the hours reading, thinking, drinking in the blessings of the valleys, hard though they are at times to see. They are there when you look. When you stop the frantic worrying and anxious thoughts.
'Be still and I will show you.'
And so I surrender.