Tuesday, 11 April 2017

On Realising Your Limitations // A Little Update

One day slips into another, I cross another number off my homemade (or should I say hospital made?!) calendar. Another day has passed with no drama. I breath deep and pray again...

"Lord I believe, help now my unbelief"

It's amazing how quickly you become institutionalised. How you set up little routines and habits that keep you sane.

Get up.
Brush teeth.
Hair and make up.
Time with the Lord.
Cup of Tea.
Refill water jug.
Water plants.
Record girls bedtime story.
Dave and the children arrive...

Each day mimicking the next, but when your pregnancy is shrouded by uncertainty, there is something bizarrely comforting about routine and monotony. Something that makes it feel safer.

I still wake up most mornings fearful of what I'll find.

And every morning, as I pull myself out of slumber and head to the bathroom, that still small voice reminds me...

"Do you trust me? Look to me, daughter. And trust me"

I take a deep breath.

"Lord I believe. Help now my unbelief"

Thirteen days down... Fifteen to go. Almost half way.

The days are full and happy... My little children run around me, gathering sticks and stones, flowers and leaves, feathers and happy memories. They build campfires on the green, craft bows and arrows and leaf cutters... They chase footballs around courtyards and find dens and giggle and smile and remind me that they are just fine. My husband holds my hand and reassures me that all is well at home. We are all well. God has been so good and faithful to us.


The prayers of his people are being heard.

But I am weary... I do not have my usual capacity. I cannot mother them as I usually do, and I'm left feeling tired, guilty and limited. My body is putting every ounce of effort into keeping this little one safe... Growing it as best it can, and I am battle worn.

Just fifteen more days. So short... And yet so long. To be away from my other little loves...

A season of waiting... Of watching... Of tuning my ear to that still small voice. Of wallowing in His promises...

"Look at me, daughter, and trust me"

"Lord I believe. Help now my unbelief"



  1. Love reading your thoughts! God is good and faithful! x x x

  2. What a journey you are on-and how good is our God! X

  3. Amen to that. Praying your faith is being noticed and sparking some curiosity.
    So good to see how well your children are doing.
    Continuing to pray for you all. xXx

    1. It may be your children noticing. This could be part of how God reveals himself to them.

  4. Ah Claire this is a precious post. You will look back on this time (and these posts) and realise that the time was actually short, that it was precious and that your wonderful husband did so well in caring for your children without you. Rest in the moment, trust in Him and you will soon have a little bundle in your arms. Praying with you. xxx

  5. More than half way.... a hard road indeed and it's hard to be positive all the time ( we know this ) but we all pray for you all daily and pray for peace in your hearts x

  6. Bless you Clare, I was in hospital with the girls for 3 weeks and I remember how long it felt but I ended up with healthy babes that didn't need any special care. It's worth it. Your husband is doing an amazing job and forming even closer bonds with your other kids. Stay strong sister, he'll never leave you. Mich xx

  7. We continue to pray daily for you and that our great God sustains & strengthens you throughout this really difficult time xx


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