I've missed my blog... I've been missing it for a long time I think. I've been here, yes, updating and posting - pretty pictures and sporadic thoughts... but yesterday a post popped up on my feed from when the girls were small and I realised, somewhere along the track my blogging has changed. I think I've succumbed to the pressure to only post when I have something really important to say, or beautiful pictures to post, when what I've always really just loved about blogging is recording the funny things, the precious memories, the day to day normality of life as a stay-at-home mum.
This is such a short season.
I felt quite teary yesterday, looking at pictures of my precious baby girls... and wondering when on earth they got so big. The chubby cheeks have thinned out, the dolls have been replaced by thick chapter books... the friendship with each other, now shared with many other little girls too. They are no longer all each other have got.
On Wednesday afternoon I had a little time with my oldest girl. I expect so much from her, and yet I was reminded she is not even 6 and a half yet. Still so much growing up to do... I realised that while I savoured and cherished so much of her early years, the past couple of years have whizzed by in a haze... school does that... as do multiple siblings.
But I think a huge part of it has been that I have stopped recording. The little daily quirks and funny conversations... the everyday memories. And therefore I'm not capturing them... but instead they are being swallowed up in daily busyness.
I want to stop worrying if what I post will 'land' with my 'audience'... and instead, post what's on my heart... pretty pictures or not.
So I'm going to stop planning posts, three weeks in advance... I'm going to stop putting huge amounts of time into a small number of posts, and start going back to writing on a whim... recording what the Lord is laying on my heart and what these precious little people are up to.
I don't know what it will look like... but I'm throwing off the professionalism.
Back to basics.