Grateful...

An emotional day... this morning was the lowest. For the first time, the fear gripped me that perhaps something more sinister was going on... they were sending us for those kind of tests and checks. I locked myself in the toilets and practically howled "No God, please..." I called Dave in from school. I couldn't be on my own anymore. 

Praise God we got the all clear...
 
This afternoon, Heidi kept down her temperature. She didn't need any help keeping it down between 8.30am and 4.30pm when it spiked again. It was disappointing, but that was the longest respite so far. I am grateful for that.

I am grateful for this hospital; for the staff - the nurses, doctors and consultants who are all caring for us so well, and for the smiley lady who gives me dinner every evening and, in her strong lithuanian accent, says "Don't cry. It be OK in the end".
 
I'm grateful for a husband who dropped everything today to come in when I needed him.
 
I'm grateful for Ruth van den Broek who gave us some advice about IVs which meant Heidi didn't sob (or even cry) when she got her antibiotics tonight.... that was a breakthrough.
 
I'm grateful for my immediate family, and my church family, who are caring so well for little Ava.
 
I'm grateful to every one of you who have so supported and encouraged us with your thoughtful messages and prayers.
 
Most of all, I'm grateful to God for his sustaining power, his strength, his faithfulness and his assurance that he holds Heidi in his hands.

Much love xxx