Wednesday, 15 May 2013


This morning was hard. We had had a rough night with nurses disturbing us hourly to check on Heidi. She kept alarming every 20 mins and eventually they put her on oxygen. She looked so tiny and weak with all these wires everywhere. Feeding was tricky with so many wires, and I was getting so frustrated. Just after I posted this morning I stood by her cot stroking her soft, downy head in floods of tears and crying...

"Where are you God?"

I prayed. I prayed for strength. I prayed for more faith to know that he is good. And right when I felt my lowest, those forlorn little blue eyes looked up at me and broke into a smile. And I knew God was hearing me. I knew it anyway. But somehow that little smile helped me.

An hour or so later Ava arrived. A little ray of sunshine, a breath of fresh air. Blissfully oblivious of all the worry and concern over her baby sister. It re-energised me to be around her - making me cups of tea in the toy kitchen and riding on the rocking horse! And while we played, Dave sat with Heidi as she slept and re-charged those little batteries.

After a couple of hours napping we heard the words we had so longed to hear...

"Her temperature is 36.9"

Praise God. Praise Him. The temperature is still fluctuating as I write, but its not hitting the peaks it was before. The oxygen has been taken off and her rash is fading. Slowly but surely, it is as though the life is creeping back into her little body. She is feeding again. Her eyes are a bit brighter. We get the occasional smile...

Thank you ALL for your prayers and comments. Please keep us in your thoughts... we aren't through the woods yet.


  1. I can only imagine what you're going through. Praying for you all, especially Heidi. God is good and it's good to hear He gave you the reassurance you needed. Your faith throughout your pregnancy and now is such a strong wittness. There is a reason for this. No tear is wasted. I'll ask others to pray.

  2. I have been crying reading your last few posts, imagining how I would feel if it were my little girl. These are terribly, terribly testing times. Often at times like this I don't feel like talking to God myself, so I need others to do it for me - I will definitely be praying for you and little Heidi. Hang on in there.


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