Joy! Joy! Joy!

"Maybe happiness is just something we can pursue and never really have"

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness. Its a funny old word. We all feel it from time to time. Some periods of life, it can even be the default position. I feel happy when I check on my girlies every night while they sleep. I feel happy when I wake up and the sun is shining. I feel happy on days where I get my little family all to myself. 

But to HAVE happiness? Is that even possible?

To be happy when your world is rocked and your nine week old baby is attacked by a disease that destroys her perfect little arteries? To be happy when you watch loved ones suffering? To be happy when you lose someone so very important to you?

Happiness is not possible then.

And yet, as I sat in Housegroup last week, and chatted to a girl whose family have been through immense loss and sadness over the last three years, we talked about how through those awful dark days we knew a deep seated joy that made no sense at all. I remember sitting in hospital, agonizing over our baby girl, and yet many times being overwhelmed with such a sense of thankfulness. You see, joy goes under the happiness. It is not fleeting. It is a foundation under which all other emotions are pinned.

That joy is in Jesus.

I know many of you who read this blog would not call yourselves Christians, I know many of you would say you do not have a faith of any description... but sometimes I just can't help talking about it.

You see, many people have asked in the months following Heidi's diagnosis how we coped. I can honestly say we didn't... we cried many, many tears... I asked God countless questions... I kicked and screamed at him metaphorically many times... I doubted and queried and questioned.

And yet, those bubbling thankfulness moments of gratefulness to God continued to come. In the dark hours of the night where the only sound was the beep of Heidi's medical infusions; where the only noise was the quiet whispers of nurses as they checked her temperature every three hours throughout the night. I didn't build it up. I didn't create it... psych myself into it. I was too broken, confused and hurting to do that.

But in the Bible, God promises us his joy if we put our trust in him. It goes against all expectations, it doesn't fit the circumstances. It is inexplainable.

Happiness is fleeting. It will come and it will go... it is utterly dependent on our circumstances...

But joy? It can stay... it can carry you through the deepest, darkest pit... it can hold you steady through the stormiest seas... It's found by taking refuge in Jesus...

But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
    let them ever sing for joy,
and spread your protection over them,
    that those who love your name may exult in you.

- Psalm 5:11 -