My own heart speeds up at the prospect... I know I will leave crying - tears of joy, of relief of wonder... Or tears of heartache, of a mother who in all honesty is tired and worn out of worrying.
I try not to. I try to live by faith that The Lord has this. Some days I manage it. Somedays the gut-wrenching disbelief tries to take hold and I battle to give it back to the Saviour.
Somehow, for some reason, I think I'm entitled to a pain-free easy life... I'm realising that's westernised thinking. In Syria, right now, Mother's are fearful for their children every second of every day. Millions of them.
This world is a broken place. And even if (please!) we get the news we are longing for next Tuesday, I know I will now always view the world through slightly different eyes. Our Heidi has changed me in a wonderful and broken way and right now, I'm praying, that if Lord-willing we get good news, I won't forget the lessons this journey has taught me.
And if we don't get that news? I can trust I still have some beautiful and broken lessons to learn...