Wednesday, 6 September 2017
And Off She Goes... // Our Heidi Starts School
My dear little Heidi-Hi,
I can't quite believe I'm writing this letter; that the time has come for you to head off to big school. Away from me for so much of the day. You are nothing but excited... I on the other hand, though outwardly chattering away and enthusiastically sharing in your excitement, am feeling the weight of what this means. My little girls have taken their first steps away from the family home, and are on the road to independence.
In many ways I am so grateful that we have had so much time together. We've had a whole six months more of you being at home than I had with Ava, because of when you were born, and I'm so thankful for that extra little bit of time. You are wonderful company - our funny, bubbly little chatterbox. We had a rough few months of boundary testing and struggling with all the changes at home last year, but this year has been such a contrast. You have left those toddler-tantruming days far behind you and have been the loveliest little companion. Yesterday, we went out for lunch - our last little "day date" and I saw just how much you have grown up. We were sitting down eating lunch - Jonas was getting upset about the temperature of his chips (HOT! HOT MAMA!) and Elias was just needing cuddled and you were just sitting there, so well behaved, eating up your dinner - finishing before I'd even started mine. I was juggling the boys and you said "Let me take Elias, Mama, so you can eat your lunch"... It was such a thoughtful, kind, grown-up thing to say, and made me so so proud, and yet broke my heart a little bit as well. Growing up is so bittersweet! I joked with you that I didn't want you to grow up, and those big blue expressionate eyes looked back at me and said "You know I can't do anything about that Mama... you'll have to talk to Jesus if you want me to do that!"
Oh Heidi! My precious little second-born... you are a strong little fighter... and I hope that strength of character will always stay with you. As you begin this school journey, I hope you will always have the strength to stand up for truth and fight for justice... to not be swayed by what others say and do - to not just follow the crowd - but to graciously and gently hold on to what you know is right. It's a crazy old world you're growing up in... broken in so many ways. I hope and pray you'll be a light in the dark places, and bring a little bit of that joy and exuberance to those who are sad and struggling.
Most of all, our Heidi, my prayer is that you'll walk through your school days and on into adulthood with Jesus. That you'll hold his opinion of you as the only one that counts... as pressures from the outside press down you - pressures to look a certain way, behave a certain way, portray yourself in a certain way - I pray you'll not be afraid to go against the flow. To know that it's what is inside that makes you beautiful - that honesty and integrity and kindness and generosity are the things that matter, and that knowing Christ is enough in every circumstance.
This has been a milestone year for you Heidi - coming off your medication, starting school... Your four and a half years of life have been eventful, but we have learnt together how faithful our God is... through the good times, and through the darkest of valleys. I'm so very thankful that he holds you in his hands, and will go before you into school this morning. We have been through so very much in such a short time, and tears of joy well up when I remember there was a time I wondered if this day would ever come... he has been so very good to us.
I'm so proud of you, sweet girl, and I will miss your little cheeky face around the house. You are a loyal little friend, kind and honest and fun to have around and while I feel sad that you won't be spending all your time with me anymore, I know you are so excited about this next adventure.
Off you go, little one... and know your Mama loves you very, very much (and will be crying all the way home from the school run!)
Ich hab dich so lieb mein Schnucks