Monday, 16 January 2012

Resolution 3: Real repentance...


3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.
I'm a big fan of to-do lists... in fact, I kinda live off them. Every morning, after I've done my quiet time, I sit down and plan out my day to the minutest detail. It's how I keep track of what I've done, what I need to do, and it stops my brain from overheating, knotting and exploding. I no longer have to store everything up there if I have it written down. In essence - it stops my life from floating along and stops my brain from feeling overwhelmed.

I'm good at floating... without my to-do lists, I float from one activity to the next, never actually achieving all that I need to, and definitely not redeeming my time effectively. It's easy to float in my walk with God as well... one day, for one reason or another, I might not be able to sit down and spend proper time with the Lord (e.g. baby is crying, some emergency arises etc etc), the next day, I don't think to... and suddenly, a whole week has gone by without me really even thinking about my Saviour. It's not a purposeful decision... its somehow just happened... its what Edwards' refers to as "falling" and "growing dull"...

Often I think of repentance as something I need to do when I've willfully done wrong... perhaps I've gossiped about someone, made a sarky comment to my husband, got annoyed with my daughter. But repentance is also required when we find ourselves in sin that wasn't necessarily wilful, but is not the best that God has planned for us...

I have to admit that OFTEN God's glory is not the motivation behind my actions... too often MY glory is the motivation behind them... and for that, I need to repent. That doesn't just mean whip up a little prayer and say a quick "sorry"... it doesn't mean "I'm sorry" because I feel bad and want to relieve my guilt, it doesn't mean "I'm sorry" so that I escape the consequences which will follow my actions... it means being sorry for the sin itself. Recognising the ugliness of my forgetfulness and apathy towards God and praying earnestly for the filling of the Spirit, a hunger for his Word and desire for his glory...

And when we do that, God promises us "grateful, restful joy" Tim Keller: All of life is repentance




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