Wednesday, 16 October 2013

History repeating itself...

My Dad always used to say he could tell when my Mum was going through a tough patch with one of us kids... The parenting books would reappear on her bedside table and she'd be scouring the pages of "Dare to Discipline" or "The Strong-willed child" or "Raising boys", or anything by Dr.James Dobson for that matter, for any advice she could grab.

I think history is repeating itself...

These past couple of weeks, Ava has been throwing some pretty typical toddler behaviour at me. No surprises there. She is learning to discern her own opinions about things and pulling no punches on making everyone clear on the matter. She is a delight and a joy the majority of the time, but she is also learning she has the ability to disobey, ignore and answer back.

Oh boy.

I flit, in these moments, between feeling perfectly in control, and feeling utterly out of control. This parenting thing is BIG. Like, really big. It only takes a second of dwelling on the fact that you are shaping little lives to realise that.

How do you stop feeling overwhelmed by the task? How do you make time to ponder on your reactions and judgements and realise there are times when you have handled a situation well, and times where you've flipped your lid and reacted totally improportionately to the issue?

This is all stuff I'm learning.

And I'm learning its grace. I will get this parenting thing wrong at times, and that's OK. Because there's a heavenly Father involved in these kids lives who has them in his hands, and no good or bad parenting on my part will affect the fact that He has the final say. But I want to do it as right as I can, and thats why I'm so grateful for books that I can fill up my bedside table with, just like my Mum did a couple of decades ago.

I have pretty much been devouring this book and reaping every shred of wisdom I can from it...

I'm not finished but it is fabulous. It hits the nail on the head with the responses I've been having to Ava that haven't sat comfortably with me, and its been SO helpful in navigating you through how you peel away the layers of naughty behaviour to get to the heart issues underneath. I'm loving it.

And I intend to start on these two next...

I'll keep you posted on the pearls of wisdom gained, but in the meantime...

Any top tips or great reads on parenting toddlers? Recommendations most welcome!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Claire, I read Raising Boys when my youngest was born, I thought having 2 boys under 2 it should be useful and ended up thinking I could probably do with re-reading it every few years as they grow up. This summer I read a Danny Silk book called Loving your kids on purpose, which was fab and has really helped me think about how I respond to the boys (currently aged 3 and 4.5yrs), especially when we're tired or unsettled. I'd definitely recommend that for you.


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