Gosh, these early days of survival with a fourth newborn are such a far cry from those early days with your first... Don't get me wrong, they are still crazy, they are still very hazy (I'm forgetting everything) and for our little Elias they are still extremely lazy (this boy could sleep for Britain!), but they come with an assurance and experience that this phase is fleeting and is to be cherished rather than purely survived.
Elias is going from strength to strength. Having finally got the hang of the feeding, he is now awaking for his feeds with alarming and clockwork three-hourly regularity. A habit, having worked so hard to establish last week, we're now keen to graduate on from in the next few days. It's all about stretching out those night feeds folks!!
I am feeling stronger and more 'normal' every day. The human body is an incredible thing... It's hard to believe that only a week ago I was still shuffling around and so very dependent on others. I'm not going to lie, the thought of Dave returning to work slightly terrifies me, the challenges of following through with a one-year-old who I am unable to lift could be particularly interesting, but at the same time, I'm so ready for normality again. It has been SO long since we've been in our normal little ordinary routine and I've come to appreciate that ordinary is what it's all about!
The children have transitioned wonderfully so far. I think the more children you have, the less intense that struggle for attention feels. They are already so used to sharing us, and actually just seem to be genuinely delighting in the tinyness of their little brother. Of course, the transition has been easier with Dave's extended time at home, so I think his return to work will be quite revealing in terms of the children's adjustment to our little number four.
The joy, of course, of doing this fourth time round, is that you know you will get there; through the hazy days, through the endless night feeds, through the discomfort of a Caesarian recovery. That all too quickly these newborn days of utter dependence will be a distant memory.
Too quickly you'll be wishing them back with rose-tinted memories.
And so I'm determined, however 'interesting' these next few weeks are, to savour them up for all they're worth. To learn lessons about my own dependence, to humbly remember that it is God who has gifted us with these children, and God who gives me strength...
Strength to survive, endure and savour these crazy, hazy, lazy days.