Monday, 10 July 2017
Last Wednesday, our littlest man and I headed back up to the hospital where he was born for his neo-natal review. We headed early; its not our local hospital, but the hospital I was transferred to when things took a turn for the worse during his arrival, and so we gave ourselves a little extra time. A good thing we did, as it took us nearly an hour to get there.
It was only as we drew up at the hospital that a whole host of unexpected emotions re-emerged. I feel so far removed from his birth now that I was sure I was over the trauma of it all, but taking in the towering hospital, walking the path up towards the main entrance, seeing a familiar face brought it all flooding back. It made me glad that I have a debrief with the Consultant booked in in a couple of weeks... I think it will be good for me to chat the whole thing through again. Maybe one day I'll write it all down. For now, it still feels a little too raw to share.
But enough about me...
Here is our 34 weeker, our premature baby... now an 11lb 5ozer who's chunking up and growing rolls. The Consultant took one look at him and smiled...
"He looks like he's doing well"
He asked for my opinion. I shared it and joked,
"But that's only my unprofessional opinion"
"No, no - the mother is the most professional opinion there is" he replied with a smile.
He checked Elias over - checking his reflexes, his ability to fix and focus, his heartbeat (which our little man did not appreciate!) - that everything was intact and as it should be.
He asked if he was smiling, and whether he was giggling yet.
He was friendly and warm and gave me the utmost confidence in him. I have found this to be the most valuable thing a medical professional can give a mother...
A smile, a listening ear, and a confident response.
Our Elias is doing just fine, and has now been officially discharged... I felt a sense of relief, and permission to move on... to enjoy our little man and not spend my time worrying about when or whether he'll hit the next milestone. He's almost three months old, and every day we're seeing a little more of a sunny little personality.
He is a little darling and we couldn't love him more.
I'm so thankful to God for sparing us, for keeping this little life for us to cherish and love and nurture, for protecting me and allowing me the honour of raising this little brood, for the NHS and medical professionals who have been wonderful, for the expertise of consultants who kept us safe, for so many things... any newborn life is a miracle, and yet somehow, these little ones who come super early seem that little bit extra miraculous.
Now lets get on with some growing little man!