The purposeful part has been a long time coming. That still, small voice has been probing and whispering... urging me to set aside my pride and re-prioritise. When I have too much on my plate, things get skewed and the most important things get shoved to the side - communion with the Lord, time with my husband, thoughtful parenting.
Instead life becomes one long cycle of knee-jerk reactions which does no good to anyone.
I’m so thankful for the Holy Spirit who nudges and challenges and corrects me. So often the pull of recognition and opportunity can feel more appealing than the day to day care of my family. But I feel like the Lord has been reminding me that this is a season... there will be plenty of opportunity to get involved in projects, to take up opportunities in a few years, but right now my soul needs, and wants, to be happy at home.
And so self-care has become soul care. The simple steps of going to bed earlier (which has had a direct impact on my blog - my writing time has always been late in the evening), of spending daily time with Jesus, of investing time talking with my husband about bits and bobs, and about big life stuff, and purposefully engaging with my children. Eating well and thoughtfully, taking care of my body. All things that so easily become neglected in the day to day of busy life. All things that directly impact my ability to function, and to honour the Lord with taking care of the gifts he has given me, and also recognising that I can’t do everything or be everything.
It’s not rocket science. The simple truth that when I stop striving and reaching for the next thing, but instead learn to be satisfied and contented in what I have, my soul is happiest. The recognition that "stuff" or "projects" or "opportunities" will never fulfil me, but simply resting my soul in Christ, appreciating his gifts and delighting in the small things.
Isn't that what we all deep down crave?
And so baby steps to soul care is where I'm at right now - dependence, trust, contentment, the humility to recognise my limitations, wise choices that feel costly, but bring riches of the non-financial kind.
And remembering the sweet words of my Saviour...
" Come to me, you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28