As I've been sorting it out, I've come across a few little treasures from the early days of Ava M. Photos that we took of this teeny-tiny helpless person, texts from friends who were such a rock in supporting us through those first weeks, and then I came across something I had totally forgotten about...
Sometimes I get hit with moment's of inspiration... its a rare occasion, but when I do, I always make sure I jot whatever my inspiration is down.
I remember this one well... Ava was about 8 weeks old, it was about 3am and I was doing one of those drowsy middle of the night feeds... and I remember thinking I didn't want to resent these feeds, because all too quickly, this tiny little person - so dependent - would be big and independent, and I'd be wishing I'd cherished those special snuggly moments...
And in a flash of inspiration this poem came to me - and I I sat, propped up in bed, cradling my newborn in one arm, I wrote this in a text message and saved it, only to be forgotten until I found it this week.
I wanted to share it with you all, as I think it captures the heart of a new mother and even now - 18 months down the line - the sentiments remain the same...
So here goes...
Precious moments with my girl,
When all around me fades to swirl
When all I see's this baby face -
peaceful, sleepy, milk to taste.
Eyelids flutter, tiny gulps,
rosy cheeks and dim-lit bulbs.
My Ava, what you mean to me
is inexplicable - you see
A mother's love, they say's, the strongest
It runs down deep and last's the longest
But what I say right now is true...
there's one who has a love for you
which stretches over time and space
it's unconditional - brimming grace.
God loves you enough to die for you
He sent his Son, a Galileen Jew,
The God-man sent to live and eat,
to heal the sick, clean dust-worn feet.
But most of all he came to give
His life for you, so you might live
a life for Him, to walk his road,
to give to him your heavy load.
So as you feed in sleepy bliss
My prayer for you, tonight, is this
That as you see my imperfect love
You'll know the one who loves you... perfectly, ultimately, eternally... above.