Friday, 16 August 2013

Lessons learnt in marriage...

Yesterday afternoon I spent some time with my lovely newlywed friend. She was beaming and happy and loving her new home; pottering around the house and making it beautiful (they are doing a complete remodel and its looking amazing!)

As I left with the girls piled into the buggy, she asked me if she could come round some evenings and cook alongside me to learn some new recipes. Now, I am seriously not a major chef AT ALL. I enjoy cooking, but I cook my standards and I'm not particularly adventurous, but her request took me back to those early days 5 years ago. The days when our future life spread out like the great unknown, when pleasing my husband was the highest priority and I would have bent over backwards to do anything for him, when the thought of having children was a rosy dream, when I just wanted to be a happy little homemaker straight out of the pages of "Little House on the Prairie"or "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers"...

Dave and I on our honeymoon in Spain, 2008
The reality is somewhat different... there is nothing like marriage for revealing how selfish and stubborn and determined I am. My amazing husband has to put up with a lot! The rosy dream of children somedays erupts into a volcano of tantrums and teething and telling-off, and the happy little homemaker?? Often she's found running round the house with a wet-wipe to make the house at least look externally clean before the visitors arrive.

But do you know what? That reality - the chaos, the mess, the talking through, the imperfections - that is what makes life so beautiful, because its through the trials that we grow, that we realise our own failings, that we are made to appreciate the little things, that we throw ourselves on the Saviour.

With all the trials and challenges, I wouldn't change my little lot in life for the world.

PS - Michelle at Mummy from the Heart wrote a fab post on marriage the other day...


  1. Found your post through #PoCoLo, and couldn't agree more. Marriage & Life is filled with challenge, but oh so worth all the effort we put into it. Maybe it's the stretching and the learning to be unselfish that makes it so hard, we're resistant to the change. I've learnt too, on many occasions, that when I really stop thinking about me and patiently focus on the wonder of the people around me, life is so much better. So glad to know someone else feels that way too. Thank you for sharing.

  2. First time I've visited your blog, this is a lovely first post to read. I agree it's all the things we sometimes see as bad or at least testing that make us really appreciate all the crazy, quirky little things in our families. Lovely post. x

  3. I so agree with you!! although it would be nice one day to finally clean the house from top to bottom without getting to the bottom and turning round and going straight to the top again! lol

    Thanks for linking up with #PoCoLo x

  4. How true :) I've been married for nearly nine years and my husband and I certainly have our moments, as does our household, but I wouldn't change it for the world x #PoCoLo

  5. You're absolutely right. It's real, not rose-tinted, but that's what makes it all so worthwhile and wonderful with your own little family that you've made together. #PoCoLo


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