Dear Ava... Off to Preschool!

To my beautiful Ava M,

This day seems to have crept up on me. I have known it was coming for so long, and then suddenly it was only a few days away... and now its today. You are so very excited. You could talk all day long about your teachers and your classroom and your little friend Sophie, and you haven't even started yet! After three years of us three girls at home together, you are stepping out into the big wide world all on your own for the first time.

I am so very proud of you, Ava. Of your sensitive heart and your caring nature. Of your inquisitive mind and creative hands... I know you will thrive in Nursery class. You may be the youngest in the class, but I know you'll do just fine. You've had to grow up a little quicker than most the past eighteen months; becoming a big sister when you were still just a baby yourself, and then dealing with the emotional trauma of that dark season when you barely saw your Mama and your baby sister for a month. You have always shown such resilience... and we are so proud of the caring, loving little girl you are becoming.

Of course you have your moments, and they will no doubt raise their head in Nursery too, but you are eager to please, and most importantly, you want to honour God. I find it amazing all that your young mind can comprehend and understand in your own little way... a little faith, a young faith, but I praise God that that is all that is needed.

I am praying that this year will be wonderful preparation for your transition to big school next year, I'm praying that you will learn lots in Nursery... perhaps not so much letters and numbers and forming words, but rather what it means to put others before yourself, to share well, to care for those who are a little bit different to everyone else. You're a sensitive little soul - not in the sense that you cry easily, but in that you seem to notice how others are feeling (something you've inherited from your beloved Papa - not like your oblivious Mama!) and I love that about you. You see someone is sad, and you want to make it right for them... however you can.

So I am not putting mascara on this morning because I think there will be a few tears on my part... not because I want to stop time, or I'm regretting any of this... because I know this is so right for you... but just because I'm so very thankful to have had these three years of every day ordinariness with you, my Ava. And a little part of me is sad to say goodbye to the all-day, everyday intensity of being with you... a little part of me is afraid of allowing other people to become important to you... because I know this road eventually heads to your independence.

And I'm just not ready for that yet.

But I'mm praising God I don't have to be.

This next chapter is a journey too... and I'm so excited to share it with you Ava!

Lots and lots of love,

Mama xx