It's led to some horrible parenting moments too... Like the day we watched four movies one after the other. Yup. That happened. I was ill. Heidi was ill. Ava was well and loved it. I could pretend to be mortified at myself for that "Mama failure" but you know what? One off day like that is not gonna kill them... And it sure helped me get better quicker! And I kind of won't deny that I enjoyed an afternoon snuggled up with my girls on the sofa...
Thank goodness for Disney Pixar.
Things are gradually starting to wind down. This Advent season has been my busiest ever. Too busy. I think the low point was when Dave was away and I felt overwhelmed by it all, and was on the brink of starting that whole rocking on the edge of the sofa thing and bursting into tears ( the tears may have happened... I just about staved off the rocking...!) I'm a yes person. I like to be involved. In everything. And this year I've had to learn a hard lesson.
I'm learning to say "no"...
In my heart of hearts, I'm a home girl. And I've lost that this Advent. Everything I have been involved in has been wonderful - choirs, craft evenings, organising teacher gifts, teaching songs to the primary school. But my word, when I said yes to all those things, I was not thinking straight.
I was also not pregnant.
This pregnancy has wiped me out in a way that none of my previous ones have... Maybe it's the running after the other two, maybe its that I'm that bit older (although I'm still just under the 30 banner!), maybe its just that this has been a particularly insanely busy season, but the truth is I'm shattered. And therefore I've lost sight of a few of the things that actually matter to me...
Like spending quality time with The Lord every day...
Like just being with my children, and not doing the whole time...
Like blogging whats on my heart because this blog is primarily for our little family...
Like investing in friends, rather than events...
All food for thought, and this Christmas gives me an opportunity to actually mull over some of the chaotic random thoughts currently powering thought my brain at lightning speed.
Sometimes I feel like I want life to slow down, but I'm not quite sure how to make that actually happen...
Anyone else ever feel like that?!
So my plan is over this next week to make some space to think, to scribble down in an actual notebook (not on my phone or iPad!), to read my Bible and to pray a lot and just to recognise that I can't do everything, or be involved in everything. And that I am not indispensable.
Thank The Lord.
A life lesson in slowing down... The perfect time of year for learning it!
Important life lessons! I had to learn this lesson early on in ministry otherwise you burn out. Learning not to say 'yes' to every good opportunity is the hardest thing, but being clear on what is 'best' and what are your God given priorities really helps to learn to say 'no' even though you really want to help!
ReplyDeleteOn a different note, pregnancy and winter bugs have not been a good combo for me - just found all my immunity is protecting the baby and I have fewer antibodies to fight germs. Didn't have that last time.
Maybe the same for you?
I think as mums with young children we are all bad for trying to do everything! Rushing about like a mad woman. Sometimes a lazy day is much needed. Sometimes we need rest, time out. X
ReplyDeleteGosh Claire, how I can relate to this! I have spent this whole month questioning how I can do Christmas better next year. I feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed all it the same time. Christmas isn't meant to be like this. I think the fact that I haven't spent much time digging into my bible or in silence with God has a big part to play in the busyness. Will I ever get it right?! x
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