Big School...

This past couple of weeks has been filled with milestones for our Ava M... her first sports day, her first school report, her first school trip... perhaps its the sheer volume of "firsts" that have kept me from being an emotional wreck about it all... or perhaps its just the busyness of life with a three-year-old, a two-year-old and a three-week-old. Whatever it is, we're about to embark on the  biggest first of all...

Big School.

Tomorrow, my little Ava will be walked up to an unfamiliar school gate, be picked up by her TA at the School reception, and be taken down to her new class, new teacher and 29 children she doesn't know yet.

The thought just turns me into a nervous wreck...

And yet Ava? Tomorrow morning cannot come quickly enough for her. She is so excited to meet her new teacher, is looking forward to making lots of new friends, can't wait to see what she's going to be doing at big school. And knowing her, I'm pretty sure she'll walk through those doors and not look back.

And as she goes, she'll take a little piece of my heart with her.

Because with this step, begins the journey of the next fifteen years and beyond... the gradual letting go... the move to independence... the existence of a pocket of life of which I am not a part.

Ava starting Nursery School last September...

I suppose in many ways it began last September, when she skipped into her school nursery and began the routine of 5 mornings a week in a classroom... but still we were the main environment, time with us was still dominant, our little world at home was still the big event.

All that is about to change.

And so I give myself a little shake, and remind myself that this is all a wonderful opportunity, that this will be the making of her... that this next year will be a wonderful adventure of discovery of numbers and letters and friendship and independence. That this time next year, she will be able to read me stories, and write me letters! That she will learn so much about making friends, and being kind, and sharing... that she will also learn how it feels to have your feelings hurt and what it means to not be the best at everything (one of the advantages of being the eldest sibling). She will learn that other children are different to her - believe different things to her, have other interests to her, are better at some things, and not so good at some things... these lessons will be hard for her, but they will be good for her... because those classroom doors will open wide the world for her in a way I can't do at home.

So as my little Ava M walks through those school gates tomorrow morning, I'll be reminding myself of all the adventures she's going to have, and not focus on the fact that we will miss her sunny little character at home!

My sunny, smiley girl!