The first time you do it, you feel it most intensely... That terrifying realisation that you will never be your own person again... Your heart is now inextricably tied up to someone else's and the freedom of no responsibility is gone forever. These first few weeks can feel relentless, and terrifying and exhausting.
But with experience comes perspective. These first few weeks are not a phase to be resented, or hurried through. They hold their own special treasure.
And I think with each child, I've learned to enjoy these early days more and more.
The quiet of a feed while sunlight pours through the window
The softness of that brand new skin
That new baby scent
The tiny gulps of a newborn feeding
The deep depths of newborn eyes
Tiny fingers and tiny toes
The joy of watching older siblings delighting in "their baby"
Moments to reflect in the deep of the night
Of course, the reality is that these golden moments are surrounded by a thousand nappy changes, toddler tantrums, constantly jolting yourself awake and questioning yourself on everything... It's not all roses...
But it is unique, and special and precious. Never again will this little man be so utterly dependent on me as he is now.
And I intend to savour every minute of it.