Dear Heidi - You're Six!

Wowzers Heidi girl... how did this happen?!

Six has always felt to me like the age when your little people turn in to proper "children"... it feels strange to me to now be completely out of our baby girl days. This milestone of you turning 6 feels bittersweet. Bitter because I literally adored those little girl years and I'm sorry to wave them a very fond farewell, but so unbelievably sweet because you reaching 6 has come with so many other milestones that my heart quite literally aches with thankfulness. In so many ways I wish I could've caught a glimpse of you now, on those painful days leaning over your cot in the pediatric heart ward, wondering what life with a Kawasaki baby would look like... and yet I'm so thankful that I didn't, because in some strange way, that truly only God must understand, the uncertainty made us more deeply reliant on God, and also more deeply entwined with each other. This Kawasaki journey has been something we've always done together... and I am so thankful for the connection its brought us, the deep and meaningfuls its prompted and the eternal perspective its given you, which I think is pretty unusual for a six-year-old. There have been so many beautiful raindrops brought about by that huge cloud of darkness that hung over us for so long, and they have watered my soul in more ways than you could imagine.

And so I sit here, typing about our sweet, sassy Heidi... for those really are the best words to describe you! You are full of life, and mischief and cheek - the life and soul of the party and your ridiculously expressionate face, love of all things dramatic and witty comments keep me on my toes... and yet all of that is balanced by your sweet, generous and kind nature. You are so good at sharing your things, you are quick to apologise and wear your heart completely on your sleeve so that no-one can ever stay mad at you for long. You adore, and are adored by, all of your siblings... you are Ava's confidante, best friend and closest ally, Jonas' favourite make believe instigator and fellow adventurer, and Elias' snuggle buddy (though he gets pretty aggro if you attempt a cuddle when he's not in the mood, which only makes you more determined! Oh joy!)

You and your Papa share so many traits - you truly get each other, and its so fun to watch the two of you joking around together! People who knew him as a child often say you are very like him in many ways!

And for me, Heids, you are just such a lovely little friend to have around. You are devastatingly honest at times, but also gushingly complementary... you have the most fascinating depths to you, and are incredibly perceptive and self-aware. You feel big feelings - great sorrow, and great joy, and I think you have a maturity for empathy and sympathy beyond your years.

I am so thankful for you Heidi... you and Ava are like chalk and cheese... she is so like me in so many ways, and you and I are so different in so many ways... and yet its made getting to know the ins and outs of how you tick truly a privilege. I absolutely love spending time with you, and I hope you will always come to me with all those little details of your life.

Most of all, our prayer continues that your young faith will take root and grow... that you will build your life on the rock that is the Lord Jesus, and walk daily by His Spirit... and that whatever the future holds for you, you will know that deep seated joy and peace which He promises us in all circumstances.

I thank God for you Heidi!

Happy birthday sweet girl!

Ich habe dich SO lieb!

Mama xxx