Siblings in April // The Last as a Three

      

My little loves. I didn't take these photos this month. They were sent to me by Dave as I sat in my hospital room and I felt a whole host of emotions when I got them. Joy, pride, sadness, excitement... You name it.

The hardest thing about being hospitalised for the last two weeks has been not spending every waking hour with these three little ones. They keep me so busy... They are the source of much joy, daily giggles and a fair amount of hair-raising moments too. Isn't that motherhood?

Oh, but how I love them and how I have missed them... Each little character. Ava's innovation and creativity, her kindness and loopy humour... Heidi's bubbly laughter, her joy and delightful facial expressions... Jonas' belly laugh, his cosy bedtime snuggles and his stream of first words.

I am missing all of it, and that feels hard.

Someone asked the other day how they are coping without having Mama at home, and the answer is remarkably well. That is hugely down to Dave who has been a rock and has single-handedly kept the entire household afloat, but actually, I realised it's also hugely down to them having each other.

                              

They are each other's "norm", they bring stability and normality to each other's lives, and that realisation has brought me so much joy. It's always what I dreamed of in our big little family... Siblings who were a team, looked out for each other and steadied each other during the tough times.

And then I know we're going to be ok, adding our fourth and final to the mix, because this last little one is so very blessed to have such a posse of big siblings. The way they've become a little team of three has convinced me of how very ready they are to add a last little member to their gang.

And this boy? My baby? He's suddenly grown up. Just in the nick of time, he's morphing into a proper little boy in front of my eyes...

                        

    

These little siblings of mine... I thank God every day for the privilege of being their Mama. The biggest challenge of my life so far, and the biggest joy as well.

Two more weeks of being a three, and then their fourth and final member will arrive! I can't wait for the moment they meet.

I love you little ones, keep up looking out for each other.

Mama xxx

        

Those Last Days of Freedom // Me and Mine in March

                         

                                                          Photo credit: @jpr.photos

   

I always knew when these pictures were taken on Mother's Day last weekend, that they may be the last photos of me in freedom for a while... And it seems they are. I write this from my hospital bed... The prospect of four weeks in hospital ahead of me, and the hardest bit is knowing this little family of mine will be fending for themselves. A month feels like a long time away from your husband and children, and the uncertainty surrounding the arrival of our last little bundle makes answering questions difficult. 

But I'm thankful to have enjoyed this last week of freedom....

Watching my youngest daughter splashing about in the swimming pool, the biggest grin on her face... Chatting over big decisions with my husband... Quiet mornings playing trains with my little boy, an evening snuggled up in bed with my big girl reading her chapter book to me.

When I said goodbye to the children yesterday morning, it was with a lump in my throat... Our eldest, eyes serious and downcast, seems to get some sense of the situation... My littlest girl was chirpy and cheery, her little world unshaken for the time being, and our youngest clung to me... Not understanding why mama was leaving him again.

It's hard... 

                         

     

And it's days like this that make me realise that precious as these photos are, one happy family posing for the camera, it is the little ordinary moments of the everyday that really capture what family is all about. Being there for each other, spending time together, chatting over dinner, working through disagreements, laughing at some silly expression or terrible joke. 

It's these things you cling to in the hard moments.

I've shed tears in the last 24 hours, it seems so hard to be away from this little brood of mine. But there have been tears of joy too... Of recognition of the things I so often take for granted. Of thankfulness for my amazing husband, for these three little souls who have been entrusted to us, and this fourth little soul I am carrying who is growing stronger by the day. 

And thankfulness for my own family, who in all the in- and outing of hospital this past month have dropped everything to support us, and who I know will pick up the pieces and keep things as normal as possible for our little crew while Mama is away.

Honestly, I am so grateful for each one of you...

                         

Me, and all of mine; God-sent precious gifts whom he has provided to help me weather this storm, and keep pointing me to him.

And to all of our dear friends, wider family, church family, local community and even the Instagram community who have rallied round, promising prayers and meals and visits... Thank you. Every text, every message, every phone call means so much.

And to the Lord Jesus, who knows my struggles, wipes my tears and promises hope go the greatest thanks of all.

All for your glory.

Four Little Souls // Me and Mine in February

This little crew of mine... four different personalities and characters... shaping, moulding, revealing a little bit more with every passing month... I love these photos, because behind the physical changes I see in the photographs - the growing in height, the 'thinning out', the maturing features - are the inside changes... the ones hidden behind the outer facade. The glimpses of the young people they will one day become.

Growing Up // Siblings in February...

I determined to take these photos yesterday, as welly-booted feet trudged through puddles, and little hands grasped sticks and stones like precious collector items. These three of mine... such different personalities... each with their own interests and quirks and delicious uniqueness. Each character becoming more and more established with time. Each dynamic, different.

Me and Mine December // A Year in Photographs

And just like that, another year draws to a close... Amidst the Christmas chaos and New Years preparations, it's such a gift to stop and look back at all our Me and Mine photos from this year! Dave's hair is shorter, Heidi's is longer, Ava is taller, I'm not pregnant, and we have a new little member of our family!

A lot changes in a year!

The year 2015 has been a year of transition - adapting to the arrival of our littlest family member, adapting to a little boy after almost four years of being a decidedly girly zone, adapting to big changes at our church, and adapting to big school.

There have been mad moments, plenty of chaos, and a fair bit of mayhem, but we've steered the course, and as 2016 heads our way, we seem to be heading into quieter waters, at least as far as the children are concerned.

Lots of people have asked this year, how I cope as a Mama to three small ones... how I seem to have it "together"... I don't, a lot of the time. That's the honest answer. There's an awful lot of grace and repentance needed around these parts, but I think that's just family life in general, and actually, adding one more to the mix doesn't really change the level of madness too much. At the end of the day, I think its about recognising your own weaknesses, throwing yourself on God's daily grace, and not being afraid to ask your kids for forgiveness when you're the one who's been out of line...

I also have to admit I'm a routine freak, and I don't know how people have multiple children without one!

It's been a great year. My heart feels pretty full as I look back on 2015. There have been scary moments... I think there always will be once you enter the world of parenthood. You suddenly have your heart walking round in someone else's body. There have been sad moments - losing my last remaining grandparent, saying goodbye to dear friends... But there have been awesome moments too... like holding your little boy in your arms for the very first time... like watching your kids paddling at the edge of the ocean, like looking out and seeing people worshiping God in times of uncertainty and hardship, like standing on the field where your great-great-grandparents built their home, like cherishing those everyday, ordinary moments, that turn into days, weeks, months... and then suddenly a full year has been and gone.

A year of transition. A year of changes. And another year in which we have seen the goodness and faithfulness of God.

Thank you to all of you who have read, commented, supported and contacted me this year. I've taken a little step back from the blog this year - life has necessitated that. I'm not posting as regularly, I'm not feeling the pressure to write, I'm just enjoying this little space of mine on the web, and I'm so grateful for all of you who have encouraged me to keep going with it... inspired me and supported me.

I'm excited to see what 2016 holds for us all!

So here we have a year in photographs...

Me and Mine in 2015!

Siblings // December 2015

Last weekend it was time for our Annual Christmas Bake Day!

Yes! It was chaos; there was flour everywhere... commands for little people to go and wash their hands again, questions and requests and ideas flying left, right and centre...

What better time to take your #siblings photographs?!

We were, of course, very excited to have an extra little baker in the mix this year... he's just started weaning, so we figured he was a bit small to go elbow deep in biscuit dough, so instead he sat on his throne and wielded his spatula with great authority...

I have to say... I love this months photo!

This season is hectic... Shopping, productions, social events and the inevitable run of sicknesses that landed us in A&E with Heidi on Sunday night (that's a whole other blog post) but actually, the stages the children are at is actually pretty chilled at the moment. 

Ava is at such a lovely stage; soaking up her learning at school, eager to please and oh so helpful. She is Miss Reliable, and my right hand girl... And sometimes I do wonder what I'd do without her. She is (most of the time) the sweetest, most thoughtful big sister, and pretty obedient to boot. She has her moments, just like any four-year-old, but for the most part, she is just a joy... And is SO very excited about Christmas!

Heidi has turned a corner these last few weeks. We've had a real run of the infamous "terrible twos"... You know, tantrums about the most ridiculous things... But we've been working hard at practicing obedience and managing frustration and she really has been a delight this past couple of weeks. The poor little thing has been fighting illness but is such a trooper and she's found it hard to steer clear of her little brother (trying to avoid germ-sharing!). She absolutely adores him. And her big sister too, for that matter!

Jonas is just hitting that wonderful six-month stage and is just an absolute joy. He is such a chilled out easygoing baby that he makes motherhood look like a doddle! Seriously, I'd love to take some credit, but can't! He really was just born that way! I'm sure he's gong to be an impossible toddler, or tween, or teen... But for now I'm going to make the most of it!

So that's my little siblings in December. We are so excited to have our Ava home with us from Friday. These three are ready for some good, long play sessions together!

A Sad Day...

Yesterday felt like a sad day... I waved goodbye to my Canon DSLR and sent it off to camera hospital. It has not been well for a little while now, and it seems to be giving up on camera life.

I'm feeling a little lost.

When Dave bought me my camera four years ago... I remember feeling the weight of that decision. It felt like an awful lot of money to spend on a hobby that might turn out to be a passing fad.

It hasn't been.

I love taking photographs... our hard drive can testify to that. There is so much joy in capturing a moment and pushing the pause button on a memory forever. I have no regrets about the reams of photographs that document our children's lives. I have tried to be harsh... I have edited and deleted as I have gone along, but I'm not going to lie... there are a few thousand of them... and I suspect there will be a few thousand more still to come.

My camera and I have definitely been on a journey. I remember it sat on automatic mode for the first few weeks... the only guaranteed way to get a good picture. I then gradually began to play around with the settings, and talked to people, and read up. And I don't think I've used a flash since.

I will miss my camera dreadfully this Christmas... of all the times for it to give up, this was not it! But its probably a good opportunity for me to take a break from photography and savour up these special moments without feeling the need to reach for my little friend!

Don't worry, I shall be "borrowing" my Dad's for the purposes of the big events (he doesn't know that yet... he's currently on a business trip! Ha!) So I won't miss out on any of the photo projects I take part in... and I have a few posts with lovely last pictures taken by my beloved camera already scheduled, so the blog will not suffer!

But oh! I do hope you come back soon little Canon (and please don't cost me tooooo much money!)

Curating Christmas // #SavouringtheSeason

Oh the Instagram feed has been full of festive delights this week, and it has honestly been a joy to look through and see all these gorgeous images of people savouring the season! There has been Christmas baking, woodland wanders, tree-chopping, decorating and wreath making...

So many pretty wreaths!

Clockwise from top left: @poppifleur @lowrih @ahintofwhite @clarina85

It has been so very hard to choose my favourites this week... with each week that rolls round, the hashtag seems to be growing and growing... I'm trying so hard to keep up with liking and commenting on the feed, but forgive me if it takes a little while! There are just too many stunning pictures! I am so grateful for the support of this community in running this little hashtag... I think its fair to say Instagram is definitely my favourite social media platform at the moment (but sshhhh... don't tell Facebook!)

Just take a look at some of the gorgeous pictures that popped up on the #savouringtheseason hashtag this week...

Row 1: @capturebylucy @zoepower @letstalkmommy

Row 2: @beakupcrafts @fableandfolk @brickdustandglitter

Row 3: @poppy_creates @thelinencloud @alyssaaldersey

Don't they just fill you with festive cheer just looking at them!??

On the linky front, thank you so much to all of you who linked up last week... there was a bit of a technical hitch on Linky Tools part, meaning it didn't get up and running until 24 hours after the usual start time, so a huge thank you to those of you who popped back when all was fixed. If you didn't get as many comments as usual, please put it down to technical issues last week... I'm hoping all will be back to normal this week! Eeek...

My favourite post last week was by Jess at Catch a Single Thought... the Kindness Elves have been visiting our house too (I'm not the biggest fan on the whole idea behind Elf on the Shelf... somehow the Kindness Elves focus us in a slightly different direction!) and I loved how thought through her ideas were... if you're needing some kind elf inspiration, why not pop over and take a look!

So link up all your festive posts... and please, please do make sure to stop around and comment on the others... that's the point of a linky after all! And keep hashtagging away over on the Instagram feed!

Savouring the Season is all about celebrating the season we find ourselves in...whether it be recipes, crafts, outdoor adventures or reflections on life, link up and share some comment love! And don't forget to grab a badge! (from the sidebar on the right >>>)

Me and Mine // November

It was Saturday afternoon. I was sitting cross-legged on the bed in Jonas' room, feeding our youngest, the sound of muffled giggles and clattering dupleo bricks indicating a happy play scene in the girls room when I froze with the realisation.

For the first time in 2 years, I had no #MeandMine photo.

I had, in the early hours of the morning, waved farewell to my husband as he headed off on a work trip abroad, and realised with horror that he would not be returning until December.

And that meant no #MeandMine photo for November!

With half term, day trips, Jonas' dedication and a day together on Friday, we had had copious opportunities. But with all the busyness, somehow my big camera has been sitting on the side, a little neglected recently.

Oops.

And then, in relief, I remembered. One photograph. Taken by my sister at Jonas' dedication (which you can read about here) of us all up the front at church. It's not posed... Heidi and Jonas have their backs to the camera, Ava is pulling a silly face. But its real-life, and genuine, and, for me, captures a very special moment.

It's been a month of wonderful big memories, and challenging little moments. We seem to have battled bug after bug this month; coughs, colds, chest infections, random temperatures, and then we had another Kawasaki scare with Heidi which led to me rushing into hospital with her on Friday. They were amazing and we got the all clear, but it reminded me that this disease will forever be laying dormant, rearing its ugly head at the most unexpected moment. It makes me thankful for every normal day we have.

Which is perhaps why this photo is actually the perfect "Me and Mine" shot for this month - because it was a day celebrating the joy of christian parenting and the gift of our children. My every day... and the perspective that every little "scare" gives me.

I am so honoured to be a part of this little family of mine.

Autumn in Derbyshire // Calke Abbey and Family Fun //

"Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile."

- William Cullen Bryant -

Jackets donned, wellies on, wrapped up cosy, and we were ready to explore further the beauties of Derbyshire's autumn...

This time we headed for forgotten and faded glory. A house abandoned and left as it was... the signs of neglect and age showing... it was almost eerie in its long-forgotten state.

Calke Abbey, a property purposefully left abandoned... an absolutely fascinating place...

And full of the first hints of winter's approach...

The grand house is typical of houses of its age... once resplendent in its glory, and then, at the turn of the century, abandoned to time's cruel hands and left to slowly fade away.

It reminded me somewhat of the story of "The Secret Garden"... a place full of whispers and secrets of time gone by... a place that on first impressions seemed dead and lifeless...

But as in any country house estate, the gardens were teeming with life...

Even the abandoned glasshouse could not keep those shoots of life at bay, and tall exotic plants still pushed themselves through the surfaces...

Children, of course, will bring life to any place... and so the excited cries of little girls as they discovered the next clue on their trail was reminiscent, perhaps, of times gone by, when Nannies roamed the grounds with their small charges...

The flower garden was still there in all its natural brilliance... and the grounds were so vast, that sustenance was needed on route... there were tunnels and trees, walled gardens and outhouses to explore.

I relished time with this big girl of mine. School has been an adjustment for both of us, and though she is thriving, I miss time with her. With school runs and homework, opportunities to chat in the day to day are short. She is a good little friend, and loves exploring... and we loved having her to ourselves this week.

We wandered back towards the house and explored all the the house itself had to offer... aging furniture, peeling paint and a 300 year old piano that could still make a noise... Kayla, of course, had to test it out!

We explored the underground tunnels. stopped for a hot chocolate in the cafe and then headed back to the car, breathing in that crisp autumn air.

And then we headed off to family, and we were thankful for warm homes with full fridges and cosy corners and little cousins to play with...

Homes that are still full of life!

Thank you lovely Gill and Reg for having us!

This post is all my own thoughts and opinions, I have received no compensation or incentive for writing it.

Autumn in Derbyshire // Sudbury Hall Gardens //

I've always been one to take photos, from the earliest days of wind-on cameras, to film cameras, to hand-held digital and now my DSLR, there is something lovely and addictive about capturing a moment in a picture... Sometimes moments happen so quickly that I think I would have missed them if my camera hadn't caught it still for that split second.

This past week, we were up in beautiful Derbyshire. We took my flower-girl Kaya, who was over from Austria, and incidentally is now far too grown up to be a flower-girl (Sob - where do the years go?!), and headed north to the Midlands. A week break away from the hustle and bustle of Suburban London life.

Autumn has always called us north... perhaps its the reminiscing of starting university that fateful September when my first impression of the Midlands was formed amidst fiery autumnal leaves. As my Aunt commented last week, "Derbyshire is at its best in the autumn"... and I think she's right...

And so, of course, my camera came along with us, wherever we went, and there was once particular afternoon, while exploring the gardens at beautiful Sudbury House, that it seemed to capture moments that otherwise would have escaped us.

I think these are some of my favourite photos ever.

And thanks to Kaya, who is developing her own love of photography, I actually got to be in some of them for once!

So here you have it... Autumn in Derbyshire... fun in the leaves...

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers"

- Anne of Green Gables -

- L.M.Montgomery -