Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Chaotic homes?

The rest and rejuvenation we want from our homes is getting harder to find. Our work lives have moved in, taking residency in our computers, finding us wherever a phone can reach (...) In every aspect of our lives, no matter how trivial, we are confronted with a dizzying array of things and choices. If we're overwhelmed as adults, imagine how our children feel!
- Kim John Payne M.Ed - 

I read this quote on Sunday... and I've been thinking about it ever since. Boy, do I feel convicted. My life is all too often a whirlwind, and there are plenty of occasions I've got to the end of a day and realised I've not spent any time playing with/reading to/just being at home with my little girl because I've been busy being manic around her. I've been doing the chores, working on a project, spending time with other people, going out - mother and toddler groups, weigh-ins, bible studies, NCT meetings.

A couple of Fridays ago, I walked to the mother and toddler group with a good friend of mine. I cherish this time. Every week, I spend 20 minutes picking her brains on motherhood and homemaking, and I glean every shred of wisdom I can from her. She's a bit of a Titus 2 woman to me, and she probably doesn't even know it... We were talking about how easy it is to get caught up in "social mothering", going to classes and groups and going for coffees and actually not being with our children... not teaching them to learn to enjoy home, to appreciate their own toys, to learn how to do chores...

Who is going to teach my Ava to be a wife and a mother? If she wants to be a teacher, or a doctor, or a marketing assistant, or a PA... she'll get taught. She can do a degree in it, she can study and learn from the best. But there's a good chance that one day my little girl will get married, one day she'll have her own children, one day she'll have a home to care for... and whose going to teach her how to do that? There's no degree, or diploma, or course in being a wife, mother and homemaker. She sadly won't be learning from the best... she'll be learning from me.

And if I spend all my time being manic around her, what message does that teach her?


I need to slow down.
I need to show her that home is my favourite place to be.
That family is my favourite company.
That doing the chores can be a joy, and not a burden.
That God has called me to the high calling of wife and mother.
And that's a great place to be.


  1. Just come to this through Brit Mums. I completely agree with what you say - and I love that quote. Is he the author of Simplicity Parenting?

    I am the editor of JUNO, a parenting magazine where our focus is a natural approach to family life, very much centered around trying to take life steadily and focus on what is best for us and our children.

    If you've not heard of JUNO and would like to see a copy, get in touch and I'll send one to you.


  2. I think you can show her a balance!

    You'll be fine

    jane x

  3. I reckon it's a case of teaching her from your perspective as her mum and not from your ideal of being a homemaker. She may not want to be a wife, mother, homemaker when she's older. Most of us just learn over the years, I don't believe it's something that can be taught.

    CJ x

  4. Gosh we out ourselves under so much pressure don't we?! I'm forever feeling guilty for not doing it right but the truth is, I'm a very sociable person and Im happiest in the company of others - my children will benefit from this. But yes, it's about balance I think


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