Yesterday was a hard day...

        

A hard day.

A tearful day.

I guess I knew there would be days like these. Days of disappointment and frustration. Days of questions. Days where it would be hard to reconcile truths I know in my head with a disappointed heart. Until yesterday, this hospital stay has felt remarkably joy-filled... Hard, yes. Not ideal, no. But an overwhelming sense of peace and joy and trust.

And then yesterday happened. I woke up at 4.45am... Another scare. We quickly assessed that the baby was fine, the bleeding had stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief.

And then came the cannula. 

30 weeks...

When you're on your fourth baby, there are certain assumptions you make. My first three have all been full term babies, ranging between 39 and 42 weeks. For me, there was no thought in my head that a premature baby might be something we needed to get our heads around when we found out I was expecting our fourth.

But when I rushed into hospital a month ago, at 26+3 weeks, suddenly that reality hit.

Behind the Silence // A Little Announcement

You may have noticed things have been a little quieter round here lately. It's partly just life with three small children, partly that we are living in the midst of a building site...

But mostly, its been because my body's been pretty busy expending every last ounce of energy growing this little bumpy...

Our fourth little person will be joining us in May next year. We're all excited... the girls especially so. They are bounding around, clutching their scan photos while I'm still feeling pretty exhausted and nauseous most of the time.

But oh, what a blessing.

What a good gift from the Lord.

We love this little one so much already...

Happy weekend everyone!

Today's the Day...

Twelve days over due date, and our littlest seems to have no desire to exit its comfy home on the inside, so the day has dawned when the consultants and midwives have decided enough is enough (and to be honest, I'm pretty fed up of waiting, and pretty keen to meet this little person!)

The last twelve days have been a lesson for me... In learning to let go (something I don't find easy!)... And hand the reigns over to my Heavenly Father who's perfect plans are better than my own. We never expected, after the punctuality of the last two, that we would end up waiting so long for this little one. This pregnancy literally flew by... The last three weeks have crawled...

But there has been blessing in that. Appreciating the last couple of weeks as a family of four... The ease of routine, the blessing of sunshine and time with two happy little girls. Blessing, but I have also cried tears of frustration and disappointment... Learning that I a not in control is not easy.

I let a few silent tears roll down my face as I cuddled Heidi before bed last night. I am SO excited about  this next baby... But it was the realisation that this baby of mine, at two, will do some serious growing up in the next few months. She has had the luxury of being the "baby" much longer than Ava ever had, and I'm praying she'll make the adjustment to big sister as smoothly as our Ava did at the grand old age of eighteen months.

The girls are thrilled that at last their baby is coming... And we can't wait to introduce him or her...

So we appreciate your prayers today. This morning I will go into hospital and we should have some news by the end of the night (I hope!!!)

                          

    

For our baby...

Time drags on, while we sit and wait

Little girls asking why you are so late,

Trying to keep busy, while the hours away

Wondering every morning if today will be the day...

Waiting isn't easy, it takes a lot to trust

That God knows the best way much better than us

We want the control, want to know that all's OK

But waiting makes us lean on Him more and more each day...

So little baby - we long for you to come

But as we while the time away, we're trusting in the One

Who knows every day you'll live before you're even here

Who'll help us to be patient - not to worry - not to fear...

We can't wait to meet you little one

Mama xx

Copyright: Clarina's Contemplations. 10/06/15.

Newborn Favourites...

When I was expecting Ava, I was literally inundated with information about all the things I MUST HAVE in order to survive life as a mother... I had maternity leave that didn't involve toddlers running around, so I did crazy things that you never get to do in subsequent pregnancies like read books on parenting, and browse baby catalogues and actually go into physical shops and look at products.

It can all feel a little overwhelming!

There are obviously things you NEED... Ultimately this boils down to three things...

* Somewhere for the baby to sleep

* Something for the baby to travel around in

* Something for the baby to wear

Let me start this post by saying, as long as you have those three things covered, everything else is marketing. You don't need it... You might want it, but you definitely don't need it.

That said, there are some pretty brilliant things out there, and one of the joys of expecting your third is that you have a bit more of an idea about the difference between what is actually really useful, and what is just marketing ploys of baby companies who want you to think you won't survive without their product!

So I thought it might be fun to share some of our favourite newborn products... These are my genuine opinions and I have received no incentive from any of the companies mentioned here... Other than the fact that we have loved using their products.

So here you have it... A few of our favourite things!

Me and Mine {May}

So we're still here... The four of us, and with four days until due date we're counting down...

"How many more sleeps til the baby comes, Mama?"

"When is our baby going to come out?"

Little faces pressed against bump... "It's time to come out now little baby! We want to see you!"

I think it's fair to say we're all starting to get impatient. Of course, we could still have another two weeks of waiting...

I really hope not!

So I put off taking my "Me and Mine" photo this month in the hope that a photo in the garden with the four of us might not be necessary, that instead I might have a picture of the four of us, crowded around a fifth in a hospital ward... But it would seem our little one is just too comfy to play ball, and so another month we must wait!

In the meantime, we are making the most of these last easy-going, laid-back, sunshine days before the world revolves, once again, around a three hourly routine. It's so different preparing yourself for a third time... The girls have shown me each baby is different, they have their different quirks and personalities, but the seeming endlessness of those early weeks is given the perspective of experience.  The intensity of the initial weeks will not last forever... It is a season... To be enjoyed, savoured and cherished.

So we await, every day, the realisation that things are finally kicking off, and we can welcome our fifth little member into our little family. 

Me and Mine in May.

Bring on June!

One Week To Go...

So here we are. 39 weeks. One rather large bump. And two very excited little girls...

And let's be honest, Papa and Mama are pretty excited too (add nervous and terrified into the Mama mix!)

Someone asked me last week, when it comes to labour, what's better... The devil you know? Or the devil you don't? 

I couldn't answer that question.

I swing between emotions right now... Excitement and a sense of urgency... I'm ready to go. I'm slowing down, and tiring out and I'm not sure how much longer my body can take the strain. We're eager to meet this little one... Start our new adventure. Everything is ready and waiting - the Moses Basket is made up, the bag is packed, arrangements for the girls are made. In these moments my attitude to labour falls somewhere around the margins of "bring it on!"

And then there's the other emotion. The distant memories of a warm August night three and a half years ago, when everything was in tunnel vision, when our first little lady entered the world. You forget, of course you do, otherwise you wouldn't do it for a third time... But the memories linger a little... The knowledge that you've never done anything so hard in all your life. The sense of control, the loss of control, the "I can't do this any more", the utter focus... And then the little one laid in your arms. The thought of doing that journey again terrifies me... With the realisation that there's no going back now!

But those moments only last a short while because you remember how quickly you forget, how in the intensity of life with a newborn, labour is quickly shoved out of the way by sleepless nights and endless days... And how ultimately it is all worth it. Every single second of pain, of fear, of focus, of sleep deprivation is worth it. That the years that follow of doubting yourself, of worrying about every little detail of their lives, of wondering if you're doing the right thing is worth it. All of it is worth it. 

Because amidst all that, the honour of raising little ones, of being the one their tear-stained faces turn to, the sharer of their joys, the recipient of that first giggle, the sought after one in the middle of the night, the comforter and encourager... You realise however hard and exhausting and tiring and repetitive it can all feel at times. One thing remains true. 

Motherhood is such a blessing.

Such an honour.

Motherhood is worth it.

So come, little one, when you're ready.

We can't wait to meet you.

Preparing preschoolers for a new arrival...

This pregnancy has been the second time we have walked this journey: the journey of preparing preschoolers for a new arrival. We told the girls after our 12 week scan, and so its been a long wait for them... Six months to begin to get their heads round the huge adjustment that is about to take place in our family (just to clarify... The baby has not arrived yet! The photo below is the girls with their little cousin, and he has provided lots of practice for them!) This time round it's been somewhat different... Ava was only eighteen months old when Heidi was born, and the preparation was much more simplified, but yet we have found the same things have helped our girls to get ready.

I've chatted to a few friends recently about how you begin the task of preparing little ones for a new sibling, and I am by NO means an expert... But I thought that maybe sharing some of the things we've done might help someone somewhere!

1. BABY TIME

One of the most helpful things in our preparations this time round has been the arrival of the girls' baby cousin just shortly after we told them we were expecting. They saw their Auntie go from pregnant, to having a real, live baby - one which they have thoroughly enjoyed cuddling, kissing and generally fawning over! Another friend of ours had twins last year, and Heidi loves nothing more than doting over those baby girls. Exposing siblings-to-be to as much baby time as possible is a great way to prepare them... Explain how you handle a baby, show them how to be gentle, let them help change nappies and bath and feed. All of it will help them get excited about the prospect of their "own" baby!

2. DOLLY LOVE

We've always encouraged the girls to be careful with their dolls. I don't know how much is just their characters, but we've not had to encourage them to love dolls at all... They have instinctively fussed over their baby dolls as long as I can remember. There have been times where dolls have been chucked on the floor, thrown across a room and been a little roughly handled, and I've been pretty strict on that. These may be only dolls, but we have to be careful with babies in our house... Real or pretend! This is particularly helpful with smaller ones... For children of two or under, if they can learn how to handle a dolly gently, you're half way there already!

3. INVOLVE THEM

Show them the scan photos, take them to check-ups, let them hear the heart beat, let them feel the baby move... All of this will help move that baby from the realm of abstract to the realm of reality. Ava has so enjoyed this aspect of the involvement this time round (last time she was a bit too young for this one). At three and a half, one of her favourite things is to lay her little hands on my tummy, chatter away and wait for some response. Baby's been pretty good at giving her a good kick back on most occasions, which she's been delighted by!

4. TALK ABOUT WHEN THEY WERE BABIES

We've had the scrapbooks out a lot the last few weeks... Heidi loves to sit and leaf through her scrapbook... Looking at baby pictures of herself, asking questions about what's going on. They love to look at their scan photos, and see pictures of me with them in my tummy. All of it helps them understand the process that there's a little person in there who will also one day look back at their own baby pictures!

5. READ STORIES

There are some stories that we've found particularly helpful in preparing our girls for what will happen, both when the baby arrives, and what life will be like afterwards. My favourites are below. Za-Za has seen us through both pregnancies and is a fabulous yet simple story which very clearly explains what will happen. The girls both love it. "Clare's New Baby Brother" was the book I was given when awaiting the arrival of my sister nearly 28 years ago! It's proved to be a firm favourite too! And "There's a House inside my Mummy" is just lovely...

I've been careful with the books I've read to the girls though... I have found some of the "preparation" books to be a little on the negative side... You know, how Mummy and Daddy won't have any time for you any more etc etc, and while I recognise these books are trying to prepare the child for the inevitable "sharing" of Mama's time, I've always wanted to keep the prospect of baby's arrival a more positive experience. Why plant negative thoughts when they hopefully won't amount to anything?

  6. SHARE THE EXCITEMENT

One of the things Ava has really loved is being able to share her excitement with her friends at school... Taking in a copy of the scan photo, telling them about her trip to the midwife and hearing the baby's heartbeat. All of that "sharing" has helped her to get excited too. Last week, one of my lovely friends, who's a childminder, popped around with her little group to find out more about new babies. The children had great fun learning how to swaddle a baby, looking at my scan pictures, asking questions and listening to stories. They are so fascinated by the whole thing, and Ava and Heidi were thrilled that their new baby in Mama's tummy was the centre of attention.

I think at the end of the day, it is worth saying that nothing really prepares little ones for the newest sibling. But these things certainly have helped our girls to understand what is about to happen, and hopefully have created a sense of excitement and expectation...

I'll keep you posted as to whether they've worked or not once this one arrives!

Any other top tips for preparing siblings-to-be?? Leave a comment and share the wisdom people! We're all keen to get fresh ideas!

Dopplers, Dramas and gorgeous Gucci...Little Loves Week 21

It's been another fab little week... A fairly standard one in many ways - the usual school run, battle of the wills with our two-year-old (post coming soon!), catch-ups with friends... And slowly but surely we are slowing down, starting the retreat into our own little cocoon... Nesting away to await the arrival of our new little bundle.

It feels good to look at an almost blank diary for the next few weeks... I'm slowing down - physically and emotionally - as our baby prepares itself to make its way into the world.

So in this last week of running around before we pull back somewhat, here's what we've been up to...

Read
After much umming and ahhhing about what on earth to read for my "I" author (you can check out my A-Z authors challenge here) someone recommended Eva Ibbotson to me... And I'm SO glad they did. Ibbotson is a children's author (let's admit it... they are always the best) and I was totally sucked into the storyline by page 2. Really, really enjoying this one... And I'm told all her other books are just as fab! Review to follow!

Watched
I will admit I was feeling rather sorry for myself after such a fab run of drama with The Muskateers, Poldark and Banished, but I'm glad to say ITVs "Home Fires" on Sunday nights is proving to tick all the boxes of a good, Sunday night, feel-good drama. It follows the story of a village in England at the outbreak of World War II, and as the men began to head off to war in last weeks episode, the drama is really starting to hot up. Love it!

Listened

I had my 38 week check with the midwife this week. On Tuesday morning, I was telling this to Heidi when Ava proceeded to burst into tears... "But I want to come with you too Mama!" It dawned on me that this will be one of the last appointments, and possibly her last chance to get a listen in to her baby brother or sister's heartbeat before the impending arrival, so I promised her I would pick her up early from Nursery, and she could come with me.

She was mesmerised, and when that Doppler turned on, she looked at me, eyes bright and said "It sounds like a train, Mama!"

The good news is, baby is head down, well engaged and showing every sign that it will make its own way into the world when its good and ready... After all the dramas surrounding Heidi's acrobatics during labour (she still loves to turn somersaults!), it has been a big relief that this baby seems to be doing exactly as its told! Long may it last!

Wore
Loving my Gucci Rush perfume at the moment. This was my scent through my first couple of years of uni, so it always makes me feel 19 again! Funny how smells can take you back so vividly to times gone by (and mad to think that was ten years ago - aaaargh!)

Made
We made a huge deal of Norwegian National Day last Sunday, and had so much fun feasting with our Scandinavian friends! Everything was decorated, we were all dressed in red, white and blue, and I rustled up a Scandinavian Feast of meatballs, peas and new potatoes, followed by Norwegian waffles, and fruit kebabs (provided by my Swedish friend Emelie!) It was so much fun, and we made lots of good memories to boot! You can see more of our festivities here

And lastly...

The lovely Rachel over at The Ordinary Lovely (a blog well worth checking out by the way) sent me this gorgeous turquoise mason jar earlier this week, and it has been brightening up our bathroom ever since! I was so thrilled when I found out I had won the giveaway... I never win giveaways, and she had packaged it up so nicely as well with a lovely little postcard too. Thank you lovely Rachel!

Now, let half term, and the wind-down, commence!

What have your little loves been this week?

Siblings {May}

Wow... This month of May is flying by fast, and its hard to believe this is most probably our very last siblings shot with just two little sisters in it (unless this baby comes seriously late!)

It just makes this last photo of these two little girlies all the more precious. At the moment life is stable, calm, they fit into each others lives in a happy little world of princesses and baby-dolls and make believe. In many ways they are chalk and cheese, but they are the very best of friends - each others biggest cheerleaders and advocates.

And they are about to embark on one big adventure!

For Ava, its one she's been on before... But has very little memory of. Those early days when Mama is up to her eyeballs in feeding, nappies and washing... But this big girl of mine is so ready for it. She will be a hands on big sister I am sure... My little helper! 

For Heidi, the change will be different. She is used to sharing her Mama... She always has. But she's my cuddly one. Boisterous and cheeky, but sensitive and shy. She thrives on company and cuddles and so I'm planning to work hard to make sure that company and cuddles are not just what she gets from her Papa, Mama and big sister, but also what she gets from this new little bundle too. She is kind and helpful and I have no doubt she will also be hands on... Though I can imagine I'll sometimes be willing her to be a little more hands off!

Either way, I'm sure the dynamic will shift with our new arrival, but I'm hoping that whatever happens, these little girls of mine will carry on being the very best of friends...

Little sisters in May...

 

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Getting ready...

The countdown has well and truly begun now...

"How long, Mama?"

"About 3 more weeks..."

"Three more sleeps and then our baby's coming?"

Not quite my precious big girl...

We are all getting ready in different ways. For Dave, its the practical. The trips up and down to the attic to retrieve the newborn clothes, the Moses Basket, the car seat (those last two he's still got to get...)

For me its the emotional preparation. Ths may be my third baby, but it will only be my second labour. It feels very unknown... And it seems probable that it will be a different experience again to the previous two. 

Water birth? Check.

Caesarian Section? Check.

"Why not try an epidural this time?" my Consutant joked... We all laughed. 

At home I am savouring up time with the girls, feeling that bittersweet realisation that life will never quite be the same again. It will be amazing... better... more rich...but not the same. I am soaking in that sweet Heidi-scent as our little girl nuzzles into my neck. as I sing to her at bedtime, cuddling up tight with my big girl as we pour over Milly-Molly-Mandy books every evening.

For Ava, the whole pregnancy has been fascinating. We sat on the sofa this afternoon, her little hands laying gently across my tummy as she giggled as her baby brother or sister wriggled around inside, chatting away in her special little voice that she uses for babies about how much she's looking forward to meeting him/her, about how much she loves it already, about how she's going to be its big sister and always look after it, about how it's nearly, nearly, time for him/her to come out now, but that he or she just needs to wait a little bit longer.

These are the moments that tell me that however manic these next few months will be, with three under four and all at home, we will survive... And hopefully thrive...

Heidi girl is taking it all in her stride... One moment with a very serious face, taking in the whole responsibility of being a "big girl"... She is having to climb the stairs herself, get herself in and out of her cot, and realise that Mama just can't carry her any more... And the next moment, she is hugging that bump like there's no tomorrow. This arrival will be a steep learning curve for her, and already I'm praying for wisdom to help her charter the choppy waters of big sisterhood. I want her to feel secure, cherished and loved, and I'm figuring out how we do that so that she is able to care for this little one with the same affection and gentleness that her big sister has showered upon her.

So gradually we are getting ready... The bag is packed, the girls are scheming their bedroom arrangements to share with the baby too, and the dollies are getting well practice on.

Bring it on!

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Gearing Up For Number Three... Funky Giraffe Bibs Review

This pregnancy has flown by. Literally. It's hard to believe we're only 8 weeks from D-day... I haven't read a single book, packed my hospital bag or got anything down from the attic. We had the names conversation for the first time last week (we're still in discussion on that one), and I've had so many other balls juggling in the air, that really, the fact that we're now on the final stretch has crept up totally unexpectedly.

Introducing...

The newest addition to our family...

Our puncher, wriggler, karate-kicker...

Thumb-sucker

Stretch-outer

Much adored baby the third.

We can't wait to meet him/her.

The relief at the scan to the news "All is well..."

No excess amniotic fluid (so far)

and a perfect looking, beating heart.

The baby was thoroughly examined (and we were told when to look away! No spoiling any surprises for us!)

Just a happy little munchkin chilling out in Mama's tummy...

"It's very dark in there" (Ava on viewing the scan photos)

Only 4 months to go :-)

We can't wait!

***

PS - Big congrats to my cousin and his wife on the arrival of their gorgeous little Jess yesterday... life will never be the same again... in the most wonderful way. Welcome to parenthood!

Quiet Days and Questions...

After a jam-packed December, a fun-filled Christmas and an exciting start to January with the arrival of the girls very first cousin, we have been enjoying a few quiet days just pootling along at home. School runs, nap times and meals are the staple of our every day... the other hours filled with puzzles and playdough, housework and Huette fun, stories and songs, cleaning and colouring, garden games and Grandpa fun.

There are all the normal marks of a household with small children - wild moments of tearing from one end of the room to the other, tearful moments after a crash or collision, giggly moments, and little sister secrets. Increasingly I am realising I am less and less a part of this little double act. They have their own little friendship now - their own games, their own bedtime conversations, their own hiding places and private jokes. And every little piece of me warms up at this realisation. I love their little friendship and I'm so thankful they really are the best of friends. I'm savouring it all up right now... I know they'll probably hit phases where they fight and bicker like nobodies business, so right now I'm just soaking up the fact that they really do adore each other.

Sometimes I worry and wonder how this little third person I'm carrying will affect the dynamic between my two big girls. The balance seems just right, right now, and I can't imagine how this third one will fit in and work its own little place without upsetting the balance.

But then I remember all the questions I had before Heidi was born... how would I ever love another child as much as Ava? Would Ava suffer for having a sibling so young? And I remember that all those silly questions disappeared the moment I drank in that gorgeous downy-haired, chubby newborn and how she wrapped my heart right up in her from day one. Now I look at the two of them together and wonder how I could ever have thought that a sibling would somehow disadvantage Ava... Heidi makes all our lives so full... and those two have been so blessed by each other. They are shaping each other and enhancing every experience they have together. They truly are little buddies.

And so I wait and wonder, knowing deep down that this little one will capture our hearts in just the same way, and work its own little place in our family... and I know, judging by the way these two little ladies love their "babies", there will be no shortage of love and adoration for this little one either...

What Not To Say To An Expectant Mother...

I've had this post brewing in me for a while... if I'm honest... a "while" probably doesn't cut it... let's say 4 years... I remember when I first fell pregnant with Ava and we were over-the-moon delighted. And no-one really could say anything to bother me or upset me... we were just so thrilled and thankful. And we still are. So very thrilled. And so very thankful. For each precious little one the Lord has given us. And yet, when your body has been pregnant for 23 months (that's almost two years!) of the past 4 years, there are certain comments and phrases that start to get a little wearing.

So here you have it folks... things NOT to say to a pregnant woman...

I have had every one of these phrases said to me countless times, so if you realise with shame and horror you have said one of the following to me, please don't get all worried. I seriously am holding nothing against anyone... mainly because I'm pretty sure I've said most of these phrases at some point to a pregnant lady somewhere out there. And if that person was you... I'm so very sorry...

But I'm writing this post so that we're all a little the wiser for next time... and maybe I'm hyper-sensitive, and maybe over-analytical... but its worth remembering that words stick. Once they're out, they're out... and kindness really doesn't cost anything...

Phrases that bother me during pregnancy...

1. "Must be going for the boy!"
We have two beautiful daughters. We would love another daughter. Or a son. It amazes me how many people comment on the fact that we, and particularly Dave, must be desperate for this one to be a boy. We want THIS baby...regardless of whether its a boy or girl. Both Dave and I. Neither of us could care less. We will love it utterly and completely because it is ours.

2. "Wow! Look how big you are!"
I am not fat. I am expecting. And yes... that means my tummy will get bigger, and generally I'll just look a little rounder. And chances are, I'm feeling a little bit self-conscious about that...I think generally this one is just conversation making... but honestly, you wouldn't say it to someone not pregnant... trust me... I feel as big as a house and I really don't need reminding

3. "Gosh, you're only 20 weeks?!"
I know I look more like 30 weeks than 20 weeks, but I'm never quite sure what people are trying to achieve by telling me that? I carry big. I get stretched out beyond belief. And my post-pregnancy body tells that story. By suggesting I look further along than I am, my mind is racing through not only the fact that you think I look enormous, but also the fact that perhaps my body will be even more wrecked this time than last... These comments only make me look at other pregnant women's bodies and wish I could carry just SLIGHTLY smaller like them... and then I feel guilty, because I love this precious life growing within me and every mark I'm left with is a battle scar I'm honoured to have.

4. "As long as its healthy..."
I don't think this one ever used to bother me... in fact, I'm pretty sure I'm guilty of having said it myself during my pregnancies with both girls. The difference is that now we have a child with a health complication, and I would not change her for the world. She is our beautiful ray of sunshine, bubbling with character, darling little girl and I've come to see this empty phrase for what it is. If this next baby is not "healthy", if it has a disability or a missing chromosome, or, as happened last time, if it develops a disease in the first few months of life, that will change nothing about the fierce and protective love we will feel towards this child...

So all I'm asking is this... please, when you're talking to that lady whose carrying that little life... be kind. We're hormonal anyway, so kind words, and gentle comments would be very well received!!

34 weeks pregnant with Ava... still six weeks to go and feeling like a house!

Me and Mine: November... a new addition!

November has been a busy month. I have felt more exhausted than ever before, and sadly my little corner of the web has been somewhat neglected. I have been up to my eyeballs in organising and arranging events, creating and designing for my little business... and just being a Mama to my two little ladies.

And that has been all this 29 year old body has been able to cope with. By the time the girls are in bed, I have been collapsing on the sofa in a heap. My usual "blog time" out the window. Because this body of mine has been pretty busy wearing itself out growing the newest member of our family.

Yup, that's right... our Me and Mine Photos for the past two months have had one more member present than perhaps you have been aware of, but this month... our littlest member is making its first "Me and Mine" appearance!

Baby "Smartie" as Ava has named it, will be making an appearance sometime in early June next year, and we are all delighted. It is such a relief to have it finally out in the open, and know I can wear normal clothes again instead of these baggy numbers that have kept our little secret hidden (or attempted to!) these past few weeks.

We are thrilled... the little ladies not least of all... and we can't wait to meet this little bundle of fun next year.

For now... I'm heading back to curl up in my little comfy spot on the sofa!

Happy weekend everyone!

Hello toes!

They're back!! :D

The blessings of hospital...

It's easy to resent this time in Hospital. My last few days with my little girl before I become a mother of 2 and I can only see her for an hour and a half a day. It's easy to ask God, "why all these complications? Why can't it just be straightforward?" But this morning, I've had the time to sit and ponder on the blessings of being in hospital... So here goes!

* Being safe and knowing that our little one is being looked after by a team of incredible midwives and consultants...
* Lie-ins
* Being cooked for
* Time to read
* Time to appreciate my family and friends for their incredible support and prayerfulness
* Missing my husband and daughter - the opportunity to realise how much I take them for granted and re-appreciate them.
* Time to pray
* A really great shower!
* Meeting people from all over the world - I have yet to meet an English midwife - I've had French, Irish, Danish, Chinese and Scottish! So fascinating to get to know them!
* Great friends who have visited me and sent in goodies for me (incidentally, Caramel wafers are INCREDIBLE - thanks Julie!)
* Enforced rest (something I am not very good at!) before life turns hectic.

Thank you Lord for each of these blessings...

Game on...

Well, I'm in hospital after being admitted last night as our little acrobat decided to show off its gymnastic skills once again! The good news is that my polyhydramnios has resolved itself... The bad news is baby is somehow still finding a way to turn somersaults!

So, after seeing the consultant, they have decided I am to stay in until Monday, with the hope that baby will settle head down and then they can induce me. If baby is still having a merry old time in there, they will do a C-section early next week.

Somewhat different to my very straightforward, textbook water birth with Ava, but feeling very much at peace and prayed for and calm. We know God is totally in control and there is no safer place I could be right now...

Any suggestions for how to stop yourself going insane with boredom during a hospital stay?! Very welcome!